As hormone-ridden teenagers, the concept of being alone was
considered the Holy Grail. However, entering our twenties, we
find being alone a scary place to be. When was the last time you
went to a movie alone? Out to dinner with just you and yourself?
We live in an extroverted society where connecting with someone
over a glass screen is preferred to acknowledging the gut-sinking
feeling of being alone in this world.
Yes, companionship and connection are values that lend to a
healthy life. However, as we enter young adulthood and find
ourselves feeling alone, it’s worthwhile to stop and think that
it might not be a bad thing. In solitude, once you embrace the
uncomfortable feeling in your chest, you can realize a
fundamental lesson: getting to know yourself. How can you develop
who you are in the face of others ideals of what you should be?
You have to live with yourself 24/7. Your thoughts, body, all of
it. Why would you want to live with a stranger? Get to know what
you think and believe, form your own opinions before allowing
others to make them for you. Learn to enjoy the world for what it
is, instead of just looking for someone to do it with. Don’t
waste experiences because you have no one to do them with. Take
yourself out to dinner. Dress up for yourself. Go on a walk with
yourself. Get to know the good and bad inside of you. Learn that
you can stand on your own two feet, and how powerful that can be.
Perhaps you are a first-year student, and are finding yourself
alone for the first time. Perhaps you are a senior and seeing all
your friends scattered. You might even be at that age where you
find people you still imagine as their kid-selves getting
married. Even on a campus surrounded by a sea of people, it’s not
unusual to feel alone. If you find yourself struck by this
feeling, before reaching to send a text–wait. I implore you to
try and sit with the feeling, examine it, take this time to
search for what you need within yourself before searching for
that in other people.
And once you have done this, then you can share yourself with the
rest of the world. Because that person will be you. You can know
that the people you have in your life, you have because you want
them there, not because you’re afraid of the alternative. If you
feel alone don’t worry, it is not a vice or a sign of weakness.
It is a natural result of being human. Take some time for
yourself today, sit in quiet, sit with yourself. Reconnect with
yourself, you may even be surprised on who you meet when you look
inside.

“She is, and forever will be a lone wolf. She’s happy living life in her own mind and she’s
content with watching the world around her in silence. She’ll never belong to anyone, and
that’s what’s so beautiful about her, she’s running wild. “
— Emily Trinkle