With the outbreak of the mystery killer coronavirus, it comes as a surprise that Colby College took precautions to quarantine students who recently came back from Asia; afterall, who wants to piss off their biggest benefactors? We’re sure it wasn’t easy to weigh wealth and health. Yet, in the end, Colby came to the conclusion that isolation was inevitable. 

The infected were locked down in a local Waterville hotel; a decision met with angst by hotel staff and guests. Colby College took no shortcuts, calling in the big guns—none other than the CDC—to examine the students. After two weeks of a paid room-service vacation, the CDC has cleared the students who have since returned. 

This doesn’t come as good news to all: some students aren’t happy to have their cohorts back on campus. One student, Jonas Daniels who works with the IT department, admitted he was “mildly upset” by their return. Daniels admits that his least favorite floor-mate is now back and annoying as ever. Well, at least he doesn’t have coronavirus.

As a person whose application to Colby College was rejected, all I have to say is: sometimes it pays to be average.